Shanti's Journal

from someone's post in polyamory: (and then some other thoughts)
"Never" people often change. They say "never" because of so many reasons. They're afraid, they're looking for something to put faith in...lots of reasons.

In the end "never" is just as long as "forever". Neither of them really have practical application for humans - we're dynamic, vital and we change even if we try not to.

There's also nothing wrong with loving people who don't "love" you. For whatever reason. You're enriched by the love you give just as much (or probably more so) as the love you get.

*

I failed a french test today. not surprising. not the end of the world. it was a kick in the pants, i'm hoping. I'm about to go fail yet another one. I'm not worried. I probably should be.
I will survive.
I will pull through.
Should i start thinking about what will happen if i don't pass school this year or should i just continue on with the assumption that i WILL pass?
This grade had no bearing on my intelligence and i know that.
I actually KNEW that. i reminded myself and again i felt lighter. I felt i had given myself to space to accept failure and try again.
And i will continue trying.
Now that i am letting myself experience some emotions i was previously cut off from
now that i am letting myself fail
perhaps i will be able to live.

edit: in not fearing the worst, and accepting the possibility of failure, i am accepting the possibility of success, and in that my soul will ultimately choose the more plausible of the two. That being the more positive seeing as our souls are more positive than negative.
i didn't not fail the second french test.

Current Music: pink floyd

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